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Srini
Srini

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Published in The Haven

·Pinned

The Night I Played Sherlock Holmes While Being Drunk As a Skunk

It wasn’t elementary, my dear Watson. — During that Saturday's late-night happy hour, my close friend Marta did not look happy in our favorite Amsterdam bar. She and I were sitting totally hammered with nothing more to talk about. Blue Marta Turning Red Marta She stood up without much enthusiasm and went to the restroom — again. After 10 minutes, she came…

Humor

3 min read

The Night I Played Sherlock Holmes While Being Drunk As a Skunk
The Night I Played Sherlock Holmes While Being Drunk As a Skunk
Humor

3 min read


Published in The Haven

·Pinned

An Open Letter to All The Clever People Who Clap And Run

I will find you and I will slap you — Dear Clapper who Runs, You’re probably never going to read this. I’m still writing to you because I’m a loser. I always have been. I put “open letter” in my title so you might see at least that and open my letter. How clever of me! You presumably won’t even…

Open Letter

4 min read

An Open Letter to All The Clever People Who Clap And Run
An Open Letter to All The Clever People Who Clap And Run
Open Letter

4 min read


Published in The Haven

·Pinned

I Know I Cheated on You, But Let’s Get Back Together

You know you are the love of my life — Hey Katy, I feel awful after what happened last Saturday night. It took me 3 days to realize what I did at that party. No, it’s not because of my hangover. I needed time to do some intensive research to prove what I did that night wasn’t exactly cheating. I…

Humor

4 min read

I Know I Cheated on You, But Let’s Get Back Together
I Know I Cheated on You, But Let’s Get Back Together
Humor

4 min read


Published in MuddyUm

·Pinned

How Walking Helps My Writing

Don’t write off walking — As the future best-selling author of more than 250 novels, I’ll be often asked how I’m able to write every day. I’ll tell you— walking. Walking makes writing look like a walk in the park. I never walk in the park, though. Too many kids. I have pedophobia. A Stanford…

Satire

3 min read

How Walking Helps My Writing
How Walking Helps My Writing
Satire

3 min read


Published in The Haven

·Pinned

Seinfeld Taught Me One Important Lesson in Life

It changed my life for the better — If you’re a Seinfeld sitcom fan, you not only know that most underrated lesson but have also applied it in your life at least once, even without you knowing. In fact, everyone must have. Being an ardent fan of Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, it’s essential that I share this…

Humor

5 min read

Seinfeld Taught Me One Important Lesson in Life
Seinfeld Taught Me One Important Lesson in Life
Humor

5 min read


Published in MuddyUm

·1 day ago

How To Effortlessly Make Best Friends

Best Friends Forever And Ever And Always — Want more BFFAEAA’s? That’s Best Friends Forever And Ever And Always, obviously. Try to keep up. Start by making a Spotify playlist for someone you want to be best friends with. Add a minimum of 7,600 positive vibes songs — each month. Add that person as a collaborator. Ask them…

Satire

4 min read

How To Effortlessly Make Best Friends
How To Effortlessly Make Best Friends
Satire

4 min read


6 days ago

How Norway Helped Me To Become Super Humble

There’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness — I used to be confident in everything I did in life. After becoming an ardent fan of Suits, the staggeringly arrogant lead character Harvey Specter subconsciously turned me into a cocky person. There’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness. That line became invisible to me. After I moved to…

Humor

6 min read

How Norway Helped Me To Become Super Humble
How Norway Helped Me To Become Super Humble
Humor

6 min read


Published in MuddyUm

·Mar 22

Possible Reasons My Bookshop Doesn’t Have a Perfect Google Rating

Leave on a high note — I reveal the whodunnit as soon as the customer pays for their murder mystery book at the counter. Reveal how? Obviously by whispering into their left ear. I speak (not narrating) to the customer in Joe Goldberg’s voice from You whenever they fake smile at my mediocre but original book…

Satire

3 min read

Possible Reasons My Bookshop Doesn’t Have a Perfect Google Rating
Possible Reasons My Bookshop Doesn’t Have a Perfect Google Rating
Satire

3 min read


Published in MuddyUm

·Mar 20

How To Write the Perfect Confrontational Email

Perhaps I misunderstood — People use e-mail to avoid face-to-face confrontation. NO ONE is good at face-to-face confrontation. Your entire confrontation email should only be a couple of sentences. Say only what you mean. Do not start your email by using formal phrases such as — Dear Susan, Hiya Susan, Hello Susan. You don’t…

Satire

3 min read

How To Write the Perfect Confrontational Email
How To Write the Perfect Confrontational Email
Satire

3 min read


Mar 18

You Do Not Want Me Around When I Am Drunk

“You, of all people, should know that, Srini!” — (Fair warning: If alcohol is a trigger for you, please avoid reading this article.) It was Norwegian Constitution Day. May 17 is when everyone in Norway, including cats, has the license to get utterly wasted, not that I ever need one. The license. Not cats. My Norwegian friend Maria, who…

Satire

9 min read

You Do Not Want Me Around When I Am Drunk
You Do Not Want Me Around When I Am Drunk
Satire

9 min read

Srini

Srini

1.8K Followers

Humorist | Absurdist | Naval Architect ⛵️ | Top writer in Humor, Satire, Travel & Creativity

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