I will find you and I will slap you — Dear Clapper who Runs, You’re probably never going to read this. I’m still writing to you because I’m a loser. I always have been. I put “open letter” in my title so you might see at least that and open my letter. How clever of me! You presumably won’t even…

You know you are the love of my life — Hey Katy, I feel awful after what happened last Saturday night. It took me 3 days to realize what I did at that party. No, it’s not because of my hangover. I needed time to do some intensive research to prove what I did that night wasn’t exactly cheating. I…

Don’t write off walking — As the future best-selling author of more than 250 novels, I’ll be often asked how I’m able to write every day. I’ll tell you— walking. Walking makes writing look like a walk in the park. I never walk in the park, though. Too many kids. I have pedophobia. A Stanford…

It changed my life for the better — If you’re a Seinfeld sitcom fan, you not only know that most underrated lesson but have also applied it in your life at least once, even without you knowing. In fact, everyone must have. …

Please give me your opinion on that — For almost two decades, I tweeted about everything I saw, heard, experienced, and dreamt. I was more active on Twitter than Donald Trump, even when he was allowed to be on Twitter. Then something happened. You can’t find any of my tweets about anything in the last two years. …

A comprehensive research — My American best friend, Evelyn, has not talked to me or texted me back for the last nine months. Not because we had any spat or major disagreement over something. But because the last thing I did was send her the link to one of my articles. Did she even…

I’m ashamed to admit this — If I were offered a choice between being super rich and being wise, I’d pick being wise in a heartbeat. Because I’m accustomed to the pangs of poverty. I can take being poor. But I can’t take being ignorant. Although I’ve come to understand regret, more often than not, is…

Play this game if you’re single or about to be divorced — Would you rather be lying on a waterbed comfortably without any clothes, texting your potential girlfriend on Bumble “Sup! How’s it going there?” Or go on an actual date wearing green ripped jeans, a coral pink shirt, black latex gloves, and a yellow baseball cap, and say to your potential…

You have to have tons of sex a month — Myth: There’s one person for everyone. You call them your soulmate. Fact: There are billions for everyone. You call them your soulmates. Myth: You need to be 100% sure about the person you’re marrying. Fact: How arrogant! Are you 100% sure about anything ever? 7% is more than fine. Myth…