How I Spend My Days Now That I’m Super Rich

The richer you are, the longer your nap lengths are

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

3:33 A.M. Wake up

I didn’t become a trillionaire by sleeping all night. I like to wake up early, earlier than the Apple CEO, Tim Cook, who wakes up at 3:45 a.m. I wake up at 3:33 a.m. on the dot. The three 3s remind me of the euro signs, and I want to watch the euro signs first thing in the morning for the whole sixty seconds. Why? Because I can.

Also, I want to give false hope to the people that anyone can become a trillionaire if they wake up at 3:33 a.m.

3:34 A.M. Take a piss and get pissed off

I turn off the alarm at 3:34 a.m. I take a piss. I brush my teeth. I drink almond milk. A gallon, to be precise. That’s exactly how much super-rich people drink. You better be taking notes.

Then I go back to bed. I check Twitter. Some days, I reluctantly take a nap for 5 hours when the tweets I see are not intriguing/spicy enough. Some days, I voluntarily take a nap when nobody speaks highly of me in their replies to my tweets.

The richer you are, the longer your nap lengths are.

If I read tweets about me that piss me off, I take a piss again and check my emails. Whenever I’m…